第三十八錯覚; 「memory. action.」

[beanstalk]

[It’s a bright, sunny day outside, out in a field where there’s trees sparsely providing shade as the sun shines brightly. Then, a gloved hand comes up to block the sun’s rays, and then comes into view a field of dead lotus flowers, and just a ways past the gloved hand stands a young woman, blonde and dressed casually for the age, with her back turned.

“Hey, do you know what this flower is? It reaches for the sky.” The voice sounds like it belongs to a man, but it most definitely doesn’t belong to Kanda.

As the woman turns, the memory begins to fade out, her voice also growing fainter as she answers.

“A lotus flower. It grows from the mud, towards the sky, and makes the world a fragrant place.”

When the memory comes back into focus, it’s the same gloved hand, in a different field this time, reaching up toward the sky. There’s blood on the arm, the sleeve of the shown coat and glove are torn, providing some evidence of a kind of struggle.

The man’s voice speaks again, though it’s weaker now – hoarser, raspier. “I love you…forever.” The hand falls limply to the ground as a hideous looking akuma comes into view, resembling the appearance of a clown one would see in a horror show or house.

The akuma walks toward the man, cocking its head to one side. The man’s closing his eyes, and unfortunately the last thing he sees, hears, and feels, is the akuma above him. It bellows out “this is the final blow, exorcist!!” before there’s simply nothing.

Nothing but black. Cold, dark, endless black of death.


Then, there’s a bright light – back at the very first field of dead lotus. The very same hand’s reaching up to block the sun once more to get a better view.

It’s the woman that speaks up first. “I wish I could see it. The ground carpeted with flowers.”

“Maybe if we can see it someday, together…”

The woman turns towards the man, her face slightly flushed and a bright grin on her face, delighted by the idea. “Really? Even if we become grandpas and grandmas?”

“I’ll be waiting, forever.” The words echo, and once again things fade to black.

Major time shift. When things come back into focus again, buildings line the cobble streets, the neon signs, coupled with street lights, give illumination to the block during the night. Though, the street seems to be eerily empty with places that look like that caters to a…frisky and flamboyant lifestyle. (Cough, Cross, cough.)

Kanda’s with one other, a man of average height, fluffy brown hair pulled taut in a ponytail in back and thick not-quite-coke bottle glasses. Those of the Black Order will recognize him as none other than Johnny Gill.

There’s also a chubby girl wearing barely anything wearing a bear head mask (or is that really it’s head?), holding up a sign that reads “Sexy 500 ♥♥ More fire!”

The duo ignores the working girl and continues on, though they don’t make it very far before Johnny is grabbed by the working girl…and is taken into the air. Kidnapped. Kanda’s one to act quickly, ever, even with a few drinks in him. He activates his Innocence, sending it after the ‘girl’ as it tries to devour Johnny, its mouth open wide with a set of teeth that look like it belongs to a bear. It’s an akuma.

Before that happens, however, Mugen slices right through the akuma’s mouth, using its force to pin it to the brick wall of the closest building, dropping Johnny in the process. While Johnny’s down, Kanda uses him as a spring to lift himself up higher as he leaps up to take hold of his sword, literally crumbling the wall behind the akuma.

As he pulls his sword out, the akuma starts to laugh hysterically, calling Kanda a fool to have come back, that he should have just spent the rest of his life in peace, as the Order has no chance of winning. That akuma are being born more quickly, quickly quickly quickly— Clearly, he’s chosen hell.

But Kanda has none of it, choosing to ignore the akuma and kill it, leaving it to explode behind him as he lands safely back to the ground below. Johnny, having watched, does ask Kanda pretty much the same thing. Kanda answers as follows:

“I was the one that awakened him into Nea. … I didn’t care what happened to the Order… so, during the mission in Paris, when I caught a glimpse of that guy’s Noah transformation, I ignored it. Without even reporting it to Komui… I just let it be, because I hated the Order even more than the Noah and the akuma.” Kanda turns toward Johnny, giving the scientist a bit of a wry smile.

“But now…this regret simply won’t let me die peacefully.”

And then the feed ends.]

---

action;

[Those that decide to seek out Kanda will find him on the roof of the apartment building, sitting of the edge of the building and looking out at the city lights of Credinta, as it's nearing midnight. Past his bedtime. Don't worry, he's dressed for the chilly night. Just don't expect him to be very talkative at the moment.]

Comments

[action]

[chrysalis_ex]

[ She should be telling him to go to bed. Seriously.

Instead, she's going to be sitting next to him. It's a piece of cake for her to get up there, after all.

Lenalee lets the silence slip over them for a while, before she finally speaks. ] I never thought you'd step into the red light distracts.

[ Those memories do explain a lot, though. ]

[action]

[beanstalk]

[Funny, he figured that you'd be asking about Allen, asking why he was keeping things secret and to himself. He knows how much you care about the beansprout.

Still, he can't help the weak snort that comes out.] You can thank Cross for that. No other way to follow beansprout...

[action]

[chrysalis_ex]

[ She'll be asking about that soon enough. After all, they had most of the night. ] I couldn't see you do all that a few years back...

[ She...didn't know him as well as she had thought, maybe? Yet back then, he asked few questions, and so did she of him. ]

[action]

[beanstalk]

[Sob, those questions he can't exactly avoid. Not like the personal ones he was always asked way back when.] Just...some things left I have to take care of that involve him.

[He hasn't changed all that much. He's just one still all about keeping promises and... taking care of the problems he created, apparently. And he was the one to wake Nea, so might as well the one to end him.]

[action]

[chrysalis_ex]

It's not your fault that Allen...that Allen might become the Fourteenth. [ That was even before they had met Allen. ] It's the Noah family's fault. They were the reason we've been fighting for so long.

But...

[ This whole thing with the memories is getting to her. ] I don't know, Kanda. If there wasn't God or Innocence, I might be the happiest person with my brother, and maybe with my parents. But without it, I wouldn't have met the scientists, you, Lavi, Allen, Miranda, anyone else...

It's as if no matter which way life goes, I'll always be missing something and someone...

[ She clasps her hands around her knees and rest her chin on them. ] I don't regret meeting any of you, but I hate how our lives are so messed up compared to other people's.

[ These powers, these fights. These relationships that tear at her. ] ...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to speak so much. [ Or about herself. Somehow her train of thought had led her to this. ]

[action]

[beanstalk]

[He simply sits there, listening quietly like he always did when they were younger. He's quiet for a moment longer before he speaks.]

It might not be my fault he has the Memory, but it is my fault I stabbed him in North America.

[action]

[chrysalis_ex]

[ She could almost laugh at the irony of it. ] I can't believe you really stabbed him...after threatening it for so long.

[ Why can't they go back to those days, of just missions retrieving Innocence? Why did the war have to take a turn for the worse. ]

action

[alma_karma]

[The memories are foreign and confusing for Alma. Death is no stranger to either of them, but this feels different. He doesn't recognize the two people in the first memory, nor the man with the fluffy brown hair in the second, but his focus is on Kanda. On Kanda and his talk of Noah and hate and death that doesn't feel like the sort seconds have the most experience with.

He finds Kanda on the rooftop shortly after the memory airs, padding over quietly before plunking himself down next to his best friend. It's late and he's tired, but this is more important. He won't let Kanda be alone.]

action

[beanstalk]

[Sob, Alma. While part of Kanda wants him to remember, part of him also doesn't. Those memories coming back literally made Kanda unstable as a child.

But no, it's not like the short seconds Alma's used to when it comes to dying. It's literally the end of one life, and the beginning of another. Something Kanda also wants to keep from Alma.

When he hears Alma's padding footsteps, he looks over at the child and just reaches a hand up to rest on his head for a moment. A silent, Kanda-way of saying "Hey."

He really appreciates it, Alma.]

Re: action

[alma_karma]

[He'll sit for as long as Kanda wants to stay on the rooftop, though he may doze off at some point.

For now, he simply leans over to rest his head against Kanda, looking out toward Credinta with him.]

I love you, Yu.

Re: action

[beanstalk]

[If Alma does doze off, he's taking the bitty back down to their room and to bed. It is past both their bedtimes.

Kanda can't help the slight smile at that.]

I love you too, Alma.

Re: action

[alma_karma]

[Good. So long as Kanda knows that, Alma can relax a bit. Maybe he'll ask about the memories later, but for now he'd rather just be the company that he's sure Kanda prefers.]

action

[beanstalk]

[Always enjoy's Alma's company, no matter how tired or energetic he is. They'll stay out until Alma's back asleep and then Kanda will take him back inside.

He's pretty tired, too.]

text;

[historyrabbit]

There's room here on the train if you want.

[That's all there is, because Lavi is still...trying to piece together the first two memories. They don't make sense. They didn't look or sound as if they belonged to Kanda yet it felt as if they weren't much different than Kanda. Perhaps a softer side of the swordsman...

Kanda's guilt and remorse just makes everything worse as other things start to click.]

text;

[beanstalk]

thanks, lavi. might take you up on that.

[Piecing it together might break your brain a little, just because of the simple fact he's lived before. He can...be softer, but it's rare. Usually a side only Alma gets to see. And he most certainly has never openly told anyone he loves them (Alma being the obvious exception.)

His life's pretty fucked up too. Just one huge, almost tragic love story kinda that moves onto something else.]

text;

[historyrabbit]

Anytime.

[If anything he doesn't want to piece it together, he wants the whole story. Not because he's a Bookman but because he won't be able to figure it out if Kanda doesn't.]

action;

[beanstalk]

[Sorry, but that's all the pieces there are; he doesn't remember anything else from that life. The rest is blocked off, what he remembers is just what slipped through the cracks and made him unstable enough as a child he wasn't conscious for very long during the day.

A hindrance to their testing, so he was to be 'dealt with,' but those memories saved him.

Not that he would ever tell anyone that. The only other people who knew were Allen and Rhode.

But after Kanda checks on Alma, expect to get company in that train. He's even found his scarf from his last trip home to wear. Though his fingerless armwarmers don't do much against the cold.]

action;

[historyrabbit]

[But have you even told him that you lived another life? No... Not even in moments where they've been completely honest with each other has that come up.

Bare bones would do it for him at this point anyway.

Lavi has gloves and things here in the train car he can hand out to Kanda. He never knew what he might need while he was staying out here and his gloves might get wet.]

action;

[beanstalk]

[It's something he wasn't keen on telling anyone way back when Allen asked for the talk between the four of them to explain things, it's definitely something he's still not keen on telling anyone about now. But it's been broadcasted anyway, even though he knows nothing about that life beyond that he loved someone, he was an Exorcist, and he was killed in action by an akuma.

So it isn't like he's done it on purpose or anything.

Kanda stops at the doorway to the train car, glancing at Lavi before making his way back over to the spot he sat in earlier in the week. He'll get the gloves in a little bit.]

...I bet you're curious.

[Action]

[azrthmtrnznthos]

[Oh hey--not much to say, and Kanda isn't one who'd be comforted by words. So instead, Raven'll head up to the roof--bundled in her long coat and cloak, but bearing a blanket--which will get passed to Kanda. She'll sit by him, near--but not in his space, and just offer silent company. Much like when they meditated.]

If you want to talk, I'll listen. Otherwise, I'm just here to make sure you don't freeze.

[For all it sounds cold, it's a minimum of words letting him know that much like normal, she'd just be there as company, and didn't need anything else. She could and would lose herself in her own thoughts, if needed, while keeping a faint eye on him.]

[Action]

[beanstalk]

[Well, he's pretty dressed for the weather - he's got his Exorcist jacket and his trench coat on, so he'll just drape the blanket between them instead.]

You don't need go out of your way to do that, you know.

Re: [Action]

[azrthmtrnznthos]

[It's still there if either of them needs it.]

I know.

[She doesn't mind. Keeping company is easy--and even if she's not like the others from his world, sometimes that makes things easier. No messy questions or entanglements.]

[Action]

[beanstalk]

Suit yourself.

[But hey, it's the thought that counts. And he always appreciates the silent company, considering that he's usually the one offering it for a select few.

It's very likely that he'll stay out on the roof until he gets tired.]

Re: [Action]

[azrthmtrnznthos]

[Have a shrug in turn, Kanda. She really doesn't mind.

Likely to stay with him, since he won't ask for company or accept anything else. But she figured it might help and she wants to. Strange not-quite-friendship they'd developed, but it worked. She'll stay until he leaves too.]

Re: [Action]

[beanstalk]

[Hey, he likes silently company so he isn't complaining at all. Ad he's also one to not tell someone what not to do, either.

Probably won't take long, it's late and chilly and he's too stubborn to use the blanket 8Da]