Rebecca Harcourt (
pencilpremonition) wrote in
niteo_nix2012-05-22 12:07 am
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[accidental video]
[Becca flails in her sleep, and in doing so, knocks into her communicator and turns it on. She tosses and turns, whining and crying out in pure fear. Finally she wakes herself up, sitting up and screaming in terror. It takes a few moments for her to calm down enough to realise where she is, and she huffs in frustration. She draws her knees to her chest and starts to cry.]
Damn it, Stacy...leave me alone. It's been almost ten years, I don't know what you want from me. I'm sorry you died...Stacy I'm so sorry, I tried so hard...but you've gotta let me sleep in peace. I can't change the past, any more than I can change the future. I would've traded places with you if I could've, I swear. Stop haunting me.
Or at least have the decency to admit you're gloating. I've lost everything important to me, what more do you want? Or are you going to hassle me until you drag me down to Hell yourself? Damn it, Stacy...you were my best friend, I never wanted what happened to you. I wish I'd died that night instead of you but I can't... I can't...
I'm losing my mind... I'm losing my mind and you're watching and you're laughing, aren't you? And after all this time, you're still my best friend...you're the only one I've got here. It's not like anyone else here cares. Why would they? I'm fucking worthless without my powers...
[She gets up and goes over to the window, staring down at the flood waters below.]
Maybe I should just jump, huh? Wait till the water goes down...maybe I will. Or maybe I'll just go back to sleep and not run this time. What will you do to me if you catch a hold of me in my dreams? Will I die? It's nothing less than what I deserve, after what I did to you.
[retreating back to her bed]
Yeah...I think I'll try that... I give up, Stacy. You win. I won't run any more.
Damn it, Stacy...leave me alone. It's been almost ten years, I don't know what you want from me. I'm sorry you died...Stacy I'm so sorry, I tried so hard...but you've gotta let me sleep in peace. I can't change the past, any more than I can change the future. I would've traded places with you if I could've, I swear. Stop haunting me.
Or at least have the decency to admit you're gloating. I've lost everything important to me, what more do you want? Or are you going to hassle me until you drag me down to Hell yourself? Damn it, Stacy...you were my best friend, I never wanted what happened to you. I wish I'd died that night instead of you but I can't... I can't...
I'm losing my mind... I'm losing my mind and you're watching and you're laughing, aren't you? And after all this time, you're still my best friend...you're the only one I've got here. It's not like anyone else here cares. Why would they? I'm fucking worthless without my powers...
[She gets up and goes over to the window, staring down at the flood waters below.]
Maybe I should just jump, huh? Wait till the water goes down...maybe I will. Or maybe I'll just go back to sleep and not run this time. What will you do to me if you catch a hold of me in my dreams? Will I die? It's nothing less than what I deserve, after what I did to you.
[retreating back to her bed]
Yeah...I think I'll try that... I give up, Stacy. You win. I won't run any more.
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You wouldn't understand.
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This place where everyone hates me, everyone's angry at me, all the time. I'm never good enough for any of you. Either I'm alone enough to go mad, or I have people telling me what a horrible person I am and how I should be so ashamed of myself I should just die right now for annoying them.
And I'm supposed to be totally chill with that? Oh, golly gee, that's fine, it doesn't matter that EVERYONE IN THIS WHOLE PLACE HATES ME, it doesn't matter that EVERYONE HERE NEVER MISSES A CHANCE TO SAY HOW HORRIBLE I AM, it doesn't matter, I'm gonna be Pollyanna Sunshine and smile cause I'm too retarded to feel pain!
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All anybody wants to do is yell at me. Everybody here wants to come and yell at me for every little thing. Not good enough, not mature enough, too whiny, too weak... I get it all ready. I will never be what you people want from me! I get it already! Just leave me alone.
[flings her communicator at the wall]
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OI! Stop bein' a firggin' brat! That's not what I was sayin' at all! People here wanna be friends with you! You're the idiot that can't see that and just want to feel bad for herself!
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Yeah? The fuck are they, then? Fucking Narnia?
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Then, gently taking Becca by the shoulder, and leaning her back to bed, and sitting with her. Still with some moments of silence, before brooching things quietly.]
I don't hate you. Elizabeth doesn't hate you either. I'm pretty sure Yukio doesn't, as well. We're not the majority, but that's hardly 'everyone' hating you, huh?
[Offered with a quietly encouraging tone.]
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Everyone is needed here. Everyone can contribute. whether you have powers or not, you can still be useful, I promise.
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[video]
[video]
And everyone you turned to for help said "Dude, what's the matter? Everyone's blind."