[accidental video]

[pencilpremonition]

[Becca flails in her sleep, and in doing so, knocks into her communicator and turns it on. She tosses and turns, whining and crying out in pure fear. Finally she wakes herself up, sitting up and screaming in terror. It takes a few moments for her to calm down enough to realise where she is, and she huffs in frustration. She draws her knees to her chest and starts to cry.]

Damn it, Stacy...leave me alone. It's been almost ten years, I don't know what you want from me. I'm sorry you died...Stacy I'm so sorry, I tried so hard...but you've gotta let me sleep in peace. I can't change the past, any more than I can change the future. I would've traded places with you if I could've, I swear. Stop haunting me.

Or at least have the decency to admit you're gloating. I've lost everything important to me, what more do you want? Or are you going to hassle me until you drag me down to Hell yourself? Damn it, Stacy...you were my best friend, I never wanted what happened to you. I wish I'd died that night instead of you but I can't... I can't...

I'm losing my mind... I'm losing my mind and you're watching and you're laughing, aren't you? And after all this time, you're still my best friend...you're the only one I've got here. It's not like anyone else here cares. Why would they? I'm fucking worthless without my powers...

[She gets up and goes over to the window, staring down at the flood waters below.]

Maybe I should just jump, huh? Wait till the water goes down...maybe I will. Or maybe I'll just go back to sleep and not run this time. What will you do to me if you catch a hold of me in my dreams? Will I die? It's nothing less than what I deserve, after what I did to you.

[retreating back to her bed]

Yeah...I think I'll try that... I give up, Stacy. You win. I won't run any more.

Comments

[beanstalk]

Stop whining and grow up.

[pencilpremonition]

Oh god that did not get recorded.

[beanstalk]

Congratulations, you figures it out.

[pencilpremonition]

[sigh]

You wouldn't understand.

[beanstalk]

I don't give a shit about your sob story. Guess what? Everyone has one! Grow a pair!

[pencilpremonition]

Excuse me for being a sixteen year old kid who acts my age. I've seen more shit in my life than most people see in four times that, and the only reason I'm not dead is because I got brought to this place.

This place where everyone hates me, everyone's angry at me, all the time. I'm never good enough for any of you. Either I'm alone enough to go mad, or I have people telling me what a horrible person I am and how I should be so ashamed of myself I should just die right now for annoying them.

And I'm supposed to be totally chill with that? Oh, golly gee, that's fine, it doesn't matter that EVERYONE IN THIS WHOLE PLACE HATES ME, it doesn't matter that EVERYONE HERE NEVER MISSES A CHANCE TO SAY HOW HORRIBLE I AM, it doesn't matter, I'm gonna be Pollyanna Sunshine and smile cause I'm too retarded to feel pain!

[doctor_dragoon]

... You shouldn't talk like that.

[pencilpremonition]

God I've got to get this thing off the network.

[doctor_dragoon]

Don't change the subject.

[pencilpremonition]

It's just...hard. I miss my brother and I'm totally useless here. I feel like I'm blind, and most of all it's so lonely.

[doctor_dragoon]

Find a way to occupy yourself, then. Contribute instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

[pencilpremonition]

I offered to help with cooking for everyone. But there's so many hours in the day and I'm not good at anything else. Usually I spend it using my powers to keep an eye on things, but I can't even do that now.

[bluedemonflames]

Givin' up ain't gonna make anything better. Stop saying shit like that! Feelin' sorry for yourself is only gonna make it worse!

[pencilpremonition]

[She's openly crying again by this point.]

All anybody wants to do is yell at me. Everybody here wants to come and yell at me for every little thing. Not good enough, not mature enough, too whiny, too weak... I get it all ready. I will never be what you people want from me! I get it already! Just leave me alone.

[flings her communicator at the wall]

[bluedemonflames]

[The communicator being thrown just makes Rin yell louder. She may not see it, but there's fire rippling across his shoulders. His temper has been lost.]

OI! Stop bein' a firggin' brat! That's not what I was sayin' at all! People here wanna be friends with you! You're the idiot that can't see that and just want to feel bad for herself!

[pencilpremonition]

[She just yells back.]

Yeah? The fuck are they, then? Fucking Narnia?

[bluedemonflames]

WHAT THE HELL'S NARNIA?! Don't bullshit at me! If you'd pay any attention to what people are sayin' you'd know they don't hate you! There's good people here!

[pencilpremonition]

Then why are you all yelling at me? Why is EVERYONE THAT'S ANSWERED all lining up to tell me what a whiny, worthless little bitch I am?

[Action]

[azrthmtrnznthos]

[It's likely a very good thing that this is the last day of rest before Raven and Lavi leave to go South. It means Raven is not even bothering with warning the other, but heading straight to her room. Knocking quietly, but firmly--and Becca better open, or Raven's going to just phase through. Passively projecting calm and ease, at the same time...but this is serious.]

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

[The door opens a few moments later, but Becca doesn't say a word. She's got tear tracks down her face, and that impromptu video said everything she couldn't have. Wouldn't have. She just moves out of the way to let her in.]

Re: [action]

[azrthmtrnznthos]

[Which is good, because Raven is treating this with all seriousness. She doesn't invade privacy easily, and she certainly wouldn't usually just barge in. Coming in, she stalks over to the device, before putting it out in the hall. This way, they can have some privacy. Still passively projecting calm and ease.

Then, gently taking Becca by the shoulder, and leaning her back to bed, and sitting with her. Still with some moments of silence, before brooching things quietly.]

I don't hate you. Elizabeth doesn't hate you either. I'm pretty sure Yukio doesn't, as well. We're not the majority, but that's hardly 'everyone' hating you, huh?

[Offered with a quietly encouraging tone.]

[action]

[pencilpremonition]

It's still lonely. And you guys don't need me. I don't even know why I'm here.

[leans against]

Re: [action]

[azrthmtrnznthos]

[She'll bear the physical contact for now. Even holding her back, still projecting ease, and calm.]

Everyone is needed here. Everyone can contribute. whether you have powers or not, you can still be useful, I promise.

[video]

[deathslittlesister]

Don't talk like that. Everyone has worth.

[video]

[pencilpremonition]

How would you feel if you lived in a world where everyone else was blind, and then suddenly, after living your whole life so far with no problems, you went blind too?

And everyone you turned to for help said "Dude, what's the matter? Everyone's blind."